“It is what you read when you don't have to that determines what you will be when you can't help it.”

I may not have a beach, but I've got a shitton of books and a wading pool, bitches.

 

Too much time alone in my own head = not a good thing.  In response to my apparent need to keep myself busy and per the request of a couple of friends, may I present…MY summer reading list:

Like a David Lynch film on paper.  Serious WTF-ville.

1) Stephen Dobyns, “The Burn Palace”  Okay.  I’m cheating.  This made my list because I’m already reading it…but it’s messing with my head so hard I can’t help but finish before I begin anything else.  There is something very wrong about what’s happening in this book…and I’m just messed up enough to really, really like that.

 

 

 



It just better not eff with me like Lost did.

2) Alan Moore, “The Watchmen”  I suppose the train left the station a long time ago on this one, but some people I care about a great deal swear it is life-changing.  For under ten dollars on Amazon, how can I pass up a shot at altering the course of my own existence?  A bargain.

 

 



I'm fairly sure that THIS is what really killed Marilyn.

3) James Joyce, “Ulysses”  Honestly, Joyce and I have been locked in a battle of wills over this novel for nearly twenty years.  This is no longer anything but a quest now.  Imma finish SOMETHING by this man before I turn forty, even if it is this impenetrable lump of conceit and confusion.

 

 

 



What I wouldn't do to...I mean FOR...this man.

4) John Irving, “Last Night in Twisted River”  I’m pretty certain it’s the only book of his I haven’t read, so…yeah.  Considering he’s my literary lover, this is an unpardonable sin that I must remedy.  Forgive me, John.

 

 

 



Predicting this to be the "Gone Girl" of 2013.

5) Marisha Pessl, “Night Film”  This is my “all-the-cool-people-are-talking-about-it-already-and-it-deoesn’t-even-come-out-until-August-so-I-better-hit-it-before-the-bandwagon-leaves-without-me” selection.  Besides, nine out of ten hipsters agree it will be hot, so…yes, please.

 

 

 



You all say Imma love it. 
I think you just know something about my secret crush on Peter Dinklage.

6) R.R. Martin, "A Game of Thrones"  It’s no fun being on the outside, looking in—so I’m crashing this party, even if I am a fucking day late, as usual.  =P

 

Amanda Palmer's husband.  Double yum. 
Oh, and he writes real good, too.

7) Neil Gaiman, “The Ocean at the End of the Lane”  He’s dark, unapproachably moody, and twisted—every woman’s dream and every mother’s nightmare.  The fact that he’s married to the only woman I’d leave my husband for doesn’t hurt.  Clive Barker-lite…perfect for summer.

 

 

 

My favorite penmonkey.

8) Chuck Wendig, “250 Things You Should Know About Writing”  I pretty much never stop reading this book.  I can, without exaggeration, open it at any time, to any page, and be inspired by his no-bullshit advice on writing.  His thoughts are simple truths cloaked in parabolic elegance—he’s like a literary Jesus Christ.

 

 

 

Literary snobs suck. 

9) Yann Martel, “Life of Pi”  I absolutely adored the elegiac, haunting-and-yet-still-life-affirming tone of the film, but my very good friend and literary brother swears to me that this book must not be missed, so read it I will.

 

 

 

Arguably the greatest opening lines of any novel. 
Like, ever.

10) Vladimir Nabokov, “Lolita”  It’s been fifteen years since I read this magnificent ode to the perversions of man for the first time… and it forever split my mind in two about literature.  I usually reread at least one beloved book once a year; this summer, it will be this book.

 

 

 

Word.

11) Dave Sedaris, “Let’s Explore Diabetes with Owls”  Let’s be honest…this list is heavy as hell.  Everyone needs a little levity and David Sedaris spoonfeeds the thinking-person hysterically sardonic essays drizzled with just the perfect taste of sour-sweet wit.  Unlike a lot of other humorists, Sedaris never makes you feel like you’re doing the literary equivalent of the walk of shame to the register to purchase his work. 

Eleven to start.  Think I can’t do it?  Watch me…with the exception of “Night Film” I’ll be done in a month.  Well, except for maybe Joyce.

(Why the hell do I keep torturing myself???) 

#masochist #keepingoutoftrouble #ifthebrainisbusythemouthstaysshut 

Be sure to see what my crazy soulmate is up to over at The Suburban Acrobat.  You just know he's going to have his own plan of attacking the summer days and nights.