I am uncomfortably numb...and trying to do something about that.

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Thursday, July 12, 2012

"Hello, teacher, tell me, what’s my lesson? Look right through me, look right through me…"

“I kept quiet, but the knowledge gathered like a storm.  I could see the future…love frays and humans fail, time passes, eras end.”  
 ~The Age of Miracles: A Novel, by Karen Thompson Walker

Very recently, I was teaching 10th grade reading students at a suburban high school.  They were reading “The Secret Life of Bees” and struggling to find connections to the experiences of an adolescent girl coming of age in the 1960’s.  As we read aloud, many students began to stumble or shake their heads at the main character, Lily, and her startled awareness of the unexpected happiness she discovers in the middle of so much grief.  I recall seeing the disconnection in the students' eyes, the wandering impatience of their age tugging at their attention.  Better judgment abandoned me for a moment and basic human instinct took over.  I put my book down, sighed quietly, and rubbed at my head.  I released the curriculum for a moment and let the life lesson soak in.

Guys, close your books,” I finally said, sitting carefully atop a spare desk.  Listen—let’s be real for a minute.”  It has been my experience that young people are not often afforded the opportunity of adults being utterly guileless with them; we so rarely allow our vulnerabilities to become completely apparent that my change in stature quickly brought their focus to me, somber and expectant.  No one ever tells you this—people hoard this truth for reasons I can’t explain.  Maybe they feel that it wouldn’t have any effect on you unless you experience this revelation for yourselves.  I don’t really know.”

I paused, my mind and stomach churning.  My better judgment returned, furious, hammering at my brain: Where are you going with this?  This isn’t a part of the plan!   I had no idea.  But I continued.

90% of your life will be spent chasing an experience— pursuing a moment, a dream, an encounter.  The mind-blowing kiss with a person you’ve hungered for.  The exultant victory in a sport you’ve practiced endlessly for.  The dream job you’ve trained and educated yourself for.  Only about 10% of your life will be spent actually enjoying these fruits, these rewards for your chase—and that’s if you’re lucky.” 

The students blinked at me, awaiting the point.  My judgment berated me again. Move on, already.  They don’t get it. 

The secret to life—the key to real happiness…” I dropped my volume, plucking my words carefully, “…is learning to stop, to sit back on your heels, to look up and around and appreciate the little moments within that pursuit.”

The floodgates were open.

Sure, we’ve all pilfered pithy wisdoms like ‘Life isn’t about the number of breaths you take but the moments that take your breath away’ and pasted them on our facebook and twitter pages—but when was the last time you paid attention to those moments?   When was the last time anyone appreciated the twist in their gut, their cheeks aflame, when the person they’ve longed for, dreamed of, and loved breathlessly in the silence of their dreams actually smiles at them in passing?  When was the last time you hit your knees, grateful for the ache in your arms or the sweat upon your brows after a devastating round of physical exertion? 

I caught my breath and the students' brows knitted as they reflected.  My better judgment was silent.

The truly blessed are those who develop the ability to stop—right here, right now—in the very moment they live, and give thanks for the little moments that lead to those dream experiences.  Because when you’re my age, it’s never about ending up with Prince Charming, doing his laundry, shuttling your kids to school, or paying your taxes—it’s about that one, single, suspended second in time when your hands first brushed against one another and you held your breath, your mind racing and your heart quickening, nearly dying for nothing more than their fingers to weave their way into yours.”

I paused.  Some moments in life have an electricity to them, a static charge that signals that something is somehow…different.  I think that, as a defense mechanism for our overstimulated existences, we’ve attuned ourselves to overlook the clues which would signify that a moment of greater magnitude is before us—occasionally, however, if we shrug off our acquired indifference and truly focus on the moment before us, it will announce itself with an invisible thunderbolt.  In this room, in this moment, I swear I could have lit the city’s power grid for a week with what I was feeling.  

I looked into their beautiful, earnest faces and I was absolutely electrified by the potential their lives held, if only they could be persuaded to value their moments and to make them count.  I bowed my head for a moment, unsure of how to bring the closure that this moment needed, but trusting that I’d made it this far, I steadied myself to move forward.  I looked around the windowless room, at the encouraging posters on the faded yellow walls that shouted ‘Stand Up for Something or You’ll Fall for Anything!’ and ‘Read! It’s what SMART people do!’  I didn’t want to preach to these kids or lecture them with my counterfeit adult maturity—they get enough of that every day of their lives.  I just wanted to speak honestly to what mattered most to them, without condescension or hypocrisy.

Don’t spend your lives waiting for the enchantment of those culminating moments in the 10%.  Learn to look at the journey toward them—you know, the other 90% of your days on this earth—as the true magic of your lives.  Learn to pause—whenever, wherever you can—to find the spectacular in the ordinary, the painful, the debilitating, the humanizing.  Be kind whenever you can—give of yourselves and watch how it will come back to you in ways you never expected.  How I wish someone had told me this at some point in my life—or if they did, I wish I had listened.” 

My cinematic mentor, Mr. Keating, was chanting softly in the back of my mind— “Carpe diem.  Seize the day.  Make your lives extraordinary…”  My better judgment was clucking its tongue at my pseudo-plagiarism, so I quickly brought the text back to the discussion, chastened by my own boldness.  So I think this is what Lily is experiencing in this moment with Zach and his family—the exquisite pain of longing has kept her from seeing the happiness that was always within her reach…”

While I will likely never know the impact this little detour had on those students, if it had any at all—the short-term effects were positive.  In our remaining weeks together, the students focused, they contemplated, they produced.  I swear they were more considerate.  Their friends still came and went, their parents still coddled and nagged.  Their interests still waxed and waned.  Such is life; such is the imperious nature of youth.  It knows everything and abides nothing.

With tiny, delicate strokes, author Karen Thompson Walker paints a near-perfect portrait of the complexities of being young, confused, and hungry for experience and understanding—detailing the cruel ironies of being filled with unidentifiable passions and unanswerable questions and of being immobilized by the inability to articulate these feelings—in her debut novel, “The Age of Miracles”.  In fact, her story is so thoughtfully crafted that, after a time, the illusion that these are your memories, that these are your experiences, become almost as palpable and pervasive as the looming fate of her characters themselves.

Because I always want people to experience things for themselves, I will limit my details of the novel to a three sentence synopsis: 

1)     In an era not unlike the one in which we currently inhabit, the earth is broken; it is inexplicably slowing its rotations around the sun, stretching days and nights like taffy. 

2)     The very unit of measurement that we use to define our history—time—is now unstable, arguable, irrelevant, and polarizing; it’s wrecking societies, communities, and relationships.

3)     Life (whether it is evolving or devolving depends upon who you ask) is still carrying on—and through the eyes of the young narrator, a pensive 6th grade girl named Julia, we learn that even without the assurance of “life-as-we-knew-it”, we still hunger and we still thirst—and not just for the endangered resources of our dying planet; things always fall apart, but to survive, people crave to be known.

The story is unsettling, troubling, and often intensely beautiful.  Much like an independent film, it is unfettered by the restraints of a ‘happily-ever-after’ narrative, choosing instead to focus its energy on the precious moments in between the ever-expanding minutes.  Be warned: just like in real life, if you wait around simply seeking the answer, tapping your foot impatiently for your Hollywood ending, the pages will pass like your days—unanswered, unfulfilled.  Instead, the reader would be rewarded if he or she would release his or her expectations and allow themselves to be led by the author’s voice, which is as gentle and probing as that of her heroine.  Together, author and narrator, pour careful servings of the horrors of the inevitable apocalypse, one chapter at a time, allowing the true sorrow of the situation to settle around the reader in time with Julia’s accelerating maturity.

Society has always bemoaned the foreseeable fate of its children and the subtle tragedies of watching them grow up too fast—imagine the conundrum of having to fit a lifetime of living into whatever minutes you have left…and the irony of the fact that, in this new world, minutes mean nothing at all.  Every pain or loss in our lives feels like a signal that the end must be near; every dark despair feels like a night whose dawn we may never see.  Paradoxically, this quiet little book, “The Age of Miracles”, lays out a story of global resonance—a tiny snapshot in a time capsule trying to explain the meaning of the human experience as it wrestles with its own possible extinction.

This novel is so very, very sad—but so very, very sad in all of the right ways.  I’ve postulated before (usually in defense of my maudlin, often melancholy, predispositions for picking at old wounds, listening to old music, and overly romanticizing every single moment of my life prior to the very one in which I am living) that hurting ourselves [emotionally] a little bit every now and then is a good thing.  I operate best under the theory that a little personal suffering somehow keeps us connected to the very elements that define us as human—qualities like pity, compassion, and empathy.  Even if we sometimes have to direct them at ourselves. 

As I said before, the Earth in “The Age of Miracles” is a mad, mad world—and not wholly different from the very one we populate today.  Within the pages of this deceptively simple story, kids still practice incomprehensible cruelty and kindness toward one another, parents still walk a razor-thin line between their marital responsibilities and their personal desires—chipping away the illusory bedrock of a stable home, the economy is unclear, the future is unknown.  Orson Welles famously said that we are all born alone, we live alone, and we die alone—and that it is only through our love and friendship that we can create the illusion—for a moment—that we are not alone.  I believe he would have been very impressed by Ms. Walker’s quietly profound elegy to the solitary human being and her single mother planet.

A bitter soul might simply shrug and spew that we never know what we have until it’s gone.  While the author’s cautionary jabs are deliberate—she pokes at our rampant consumerism, our rape of the resources that might have remained abundant had we practiced more care, our [apparently] innate compulsion to label, categorize, and subjugate our fellow man—her blows are subtle and measured.  Her restraint is a gift, allowing her readers to swallow each bitter pill that she serves—one by one—without choking on the revelation of the fate our actions have more than merited.  Perhaps what is most spectacular about “The Age of Miracles” is that, even in the face of the looming and deserved doom that threatens to blight the extraordinary lives that we have so clearly taken for granted, eradicating all memories and meaning in our existence, the author’s magnificent love for her world and for her fellow man is never lost upon her reader.  Despite the devastating losses and the bleakest realities that precocious Julia must endure, threads of the rarest commodity left upon Earth—hope—tether her to this new world she occupies. 

I have only wept reading three books in my lifetime, and while this was not one of them, make no mistake that my eyes and heart were hot and heavy and dark as I read, the penetrating self-awareness burning me from the inside out.  Though never overt, the recognition of the murkiest elements of our human nature is unavoidably mirrored in this small, masterful tale—but the deeply redemptive reminder that every single moment matters is as invisibly pervasive as the pure, white gesso atop the artist’s canvas.  Every breath we have left is a foundation for hope, a place for a new beginning. 

*NOTE*  Because when I first began reading, I couldn’t stop humming R.E.M.’s “It’s the End of the World as We Know It”, (which, after a time, felt far too glib) I made a short playlist of a few songs that more accurately encapsulated the experience of this story.  Feel free to steal them, should you ever need a soundtrack for an end of the world as you know it:

Mazzy Star’s “Into Dust”, David Gray’s “The Other Side”, Gary Jules’ “Mad World”, Smashing Pumpkins’ “Blank Page”, Jeff Buckley’s “Hallelujah”, Cinderella's “Don’t Know What You’ve Got (Til It’s Gone)”, Van Morrison's "Into the Mystic"
 

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